Day 6: Tents & Penguins [pen-gu-an]

I have to start with the end of yesterday because it is priceless!

After the shocking spider incident we did manage to complete the journey to Philip Island, although initial reports cannot be very detailed as it was dark on our arrival. We buzzed in to the camp site and met Milly the cat and Darren the campsite manager.

We drove to our patch of grass – it was near the kitchen [a light source] and not very far from the office so we thought we were going to be ok. Fools.
We started optimistically, with the erection of Leah and El’s tent. All went up lovely what with it being a nice modern model with flexible poles and ropes.
We then moved on to the more complex task of piecing together the medieval tent in which I was supposed to sleep.
Now, at this point I think it is fair to reiterate that I have only been camping twice previously in my life and that during neither of those excursions was I in charge of putting up the tent. So we started with the poles and laying out the tent and a debate began about the best way to go about the process with no instructions. I repeat; it was dark. After about ten minutes a couple walked past us to the bathrooms and offered help. We declined. After a further fifteen minutes they returned and ignoring our protestations began to help. At this point we are five people all with a pole in one hand and a bit of fabric in the other. All with an opinion of how it should be done.
After a further half an hour we managed to fit the damn poles and fabric together and realised that with no ropes [we did not bring ropes] that the whole structure would not stand. We gave up.

The truly lovely Don and Karina then offered us a coffee [or something stronger]. I opted for something stronger and we went to their very nice cabin round the corner and all had serious cabin-envy. As it was lights-out/quiet-time at 22:30, Darren came round to shush us up as we were getting on well and sharing stories about fruit picking and surfing and Australia. I told him about our predicament and he shuffled off with his torch. Shortly after he returns, my knight in shining armour, with a tent. A nice modern tent with the bendy poles and lovely attached ropes etc. I could have kissed him, but I refrained. Anyway, this was a dream to put up and I was soon sipping wine and drifting off to sleep to the sound of the sea and insects.

The morning started early as Leah and El went off to the pool and I slept on. When finally forced out of bed we all began the day with a hearty English breakfast [unappetising] and then began our adventures by stopping at the Koala Reserve. Suffice to say that this was a highlight – these animals are lovely, although they do suffer from Chlamydia.
From there we stopped at a beach so that I could run into the sea with all my clothes on and get very sandy. A quick change into Leah’s top, jauntily worn as a skirt and we were off to a farm reserve with a petting section [petting animals, not each other]. It was almost criminal for me to be seen in public in my attire [any photos posted of this will result in violence] but it did not hamper the fun and we continued the roll to The Nobbies.

The Nobbies are a big set of rocks with lots and lots of seals on them. It’s beautiful and wild and apparently smells pretty horrible if you get close.

Exhausted we returned to camp to write postcards before the amazing Penguin spotting. This takes place at a jetty on the beach. The gorgeous little penguins gather in clusters and scuttle across the sand in terrified unison before pattering up the sand dunes toward their burrows. The land around the beach is dotted with hundreds of burrows and all the mother penguins and their young click and buzz whilst the Daddies come in from fishing. They completely ignore all the staring and whispering. I cannot explain how lovely it was to see them. I will never forget it.

With all this over we header back to base to cook up a storm and met some more chatty Australian people to share burgers with in the kitchen [a shed with grills and a sink]. We were told this cracking joke: “A seal walks into a club . . .” A classic, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Finally absolutely exhausted we hit the hay. Credit goes to El for driving all day and to Leah for keeping her temper with me – I did get pretty crabby. There is so much more that I will remember about this day but I cannot reasonably make this post any longer!

Day 5: First Encounters of the 8 Legged Kind

The true joy of today was visiting yet another library. This time I went to the big library in Melbourne. It is huge and amazing.

There is a beautiful Reading Room with an impressive two storey glass domed roof and antique reading benches. It is peaceful and inviting. I could have stayed there all day but I only stayed a few hours reading some Australian poetry before heading back into St. Kilda for the preparations for our camping trip.

Firstly, the tent. Leah borrowed a tent from a friend at work and it arrived in Thursday night. It is a pre-war tent of epic proportions and I don't think we were expecting it. But we packed it all the same with the two air-beds [oh yeah, this is luxury camping] and pretty much everything else from the house.

Secondly, the car. El hired it from a work contact and we got a good price for it. It is an automatic estate with air-con but it makes this horrific clunking sound when it changes gear. I can't get used to the fact that the car changes the gear for you, suddenly your left foot feels completely useless. Anyway, it's comfortable.

Thirdly, the camp-site. We are staying on a plot at a site with a pool and we should arrive around 20:30. Last check-in is 21:30 and we have to buzz in. We have to put up the tents in the dark which should be quite entertaining.

I am excited.

Finally, the spider. I have been very fortunate on my travels as I have not encountered anything hairy with eight legs, until, we go to a MacDonald's drivethru [which are called Mac Cafe here]. We are just pulling up to the speaker box that you tell your order to when someone notices the dead but HUGE spider on the lit-up menu. It has either crawled in under the plastic and fried itself or someone has taken mercy on us aracnophobes and done me the favour of squashing it. It very nearly put me off my food. I was terrified.

Camp ahoy!

Day 4: Fitness & Food

Today I decided to be healthy. All the eating of cheese and pizza and the drinking of wine made me feel slightly guilty so I headed out towards the Melbourne Aquatic Centre. To do this from St. Kilda you have to walk across Albert Park which is massive and whilst you’re walking along you realise just how disgusting your UK lifestyle is. Melbourne is set-up for fitness freaks, everywhere you go it’s geared towards encouraging you to run, or sail, or workout by a lake or drop your kids off at football. Walking the 2.5km along the lake there are water fountains and those little exercise areas and every twenty feet some super fit, bronzed Adonis whips past you on their seventh lap of the park. I even saw mothers out with those three wheeled buggies in their sweats power walking their newborns in the sunshine. Madness.

Needless to say, by the time I got to the pool I was feeling like I should step-up my meagre attempts at fitness and get myself some kind of drill sergeant. It’s not just any pool either – this whole complex is huge. It’s got indoor courts and a badminton centre and then an Olympic pool inside, with a wave pool, Jacuzzi & steam room, an outdoor pool and a kid’s pool. As I am doing lengths here’s a girls diving competition going on with all these tanned, hyped-up teenagers bouncing off the 3 metre board and when they’re not in the water they are flinging themselves around on a trampoline practising tucks and rolls and flips.

Half an hour was enough. I got out – I negotiated with the locker computer to release my stuff and I was hot-footing it out of there to the nearest tram stop!

The evening was more my style with the first filmed episode of the cooking show. El has this brilliant palm camcorder and Leah and I had whipped a meal idea and El was filming and doing the starter. For anyone who doesn’t know, the cooking show is something that Leah I do when we cook together. One of us is ‘guest chef’ and the other is resident and we pick a social topic for discussion whilst we walk the audience through whatever we are preparing for the evening meal. Hopefully this will be airing soon and as our previous audiences have consisted of Tonic and Steve the public reaction will be interesting.

Tomorrow we’re off to the wildness of Philip Island for the third camping experience of my life. I’m excited.
There will be no updates for a few days due to our exotic location.